Kindergarten, COVID, and Cocktails

This whole blog thing is very new to me, so forgive me for my crap ability to actually keep up with posts. I can barely keep up with laundry, never mind finding the time to sit down at the computer and write about the epic battles beautiful learning experiences I share with Madison on a day to day basis. Like seriously, rainbows and unicorns, people.

Okay, no, but for real. Are there any parents who home school their kids and DON’T find themselves thinking, “I swear on all that is holy, you will never live to smush Goldfish into your carseat ever again if you don’t lose the attitude and just do exactly what I’m telling you to do!”?Anyone? No? Just me? Okay. That’s fine.

Every Monday, I start strong. I have my plans, I have my printouts, I have my new interactive educational games ready to WOW Madison, I have boatloads of patience, and I have my dignity.

But every Friday, All. That. Changes. By Friday, I wonder what it would be like to train circus dogs, and whether or not I could even find any circuses looking to hire trainers.

My plans have been shot to you-know-what. My printouts are smeared with food stains (the ones that we actually got around to finishing, that is). My new interactive games? Eff the games. Every game starts like a Hallmark movie as my daughter sits down at the computer with a certain twinkle in her eye ready to demonstrate all her newfound knowledge, but they all end like a WWE match as soon as my two-year-old bruiser sees his sister doing something without him, and then instantly it becomes his immediate mission in life to make her regret the day she was born. It goes without saying, my boatload of patience sunk like the Titanic. And my dignity? Actually, my dignity forgot its hat when it left two days earlier on Wednesday. Matter of fact, if you see him, let him know I’m keeping the damn hat.

And next week, I’ll do it all over again because for now keeping her home is my safest option. Well, actually, HER safest option. Not sure about me. Pretty sure this is slowly killing me.